grrltastic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grrltastic) wrote2014-04-06 02:00 am
grrltastic) wrote2014-04-06 02:00 am
I don't know why my punctuation is so weird. Sorry guys.
I kind of decided that maybe I'm too responsible? That maybe I try to be too correct in everything and end up stressing myself out ALL THE TIME and never having any fun? Mostly this is because I have managed to give myself heartburn every day for the last two weeks and I am sick of tasting like acid and feeling like I am slowly eroding into nothingness from the inside in both a very figurative and also a very literal way.
So anyway. I loaded up my iPod before work today and listened to music on my ride because a 40 minutes with nothing to listen to but traffic is safer, but fucking boring. This worked out to my advantage, because on my very rainy, very dark ride home, I got to listen to Nine Inch Nails and Portishead and I feel really good about that choice.
I also chose to leave work an hour early because of the aforementioned heartburn, and also all of the clients were gone so it was just a bunch of paperwork bullshit that I am the only one who ever does even though I only work two days a week and I'm over it. I feel really good about that choice, too.
Unrelated, but worth mentioning, is that I'm on the cusp of deciding whether or not I even really like Portland all that much? On one hand, it was supposed to be so great! On the other, it's not really.
I've made a lot of excuses for this city: I'll like it when I'm not recovering from a car accident; but it's so pretty when the sun shines; it'll be better when I make some friends who will leave the house every once in a while; maybe it's just that I live in a shitty neighborhood where there are junkies and old, wet mattresses fucking everywhere and half the streets aren't even actually paved; I just need to not work every weekend, and then I can go do fun stuff! I'm kind of starting to think that maybe I just really don't like Portland.
So now I want to move to The South™. Like, NOLA or Athens, The South™. Because why the fuck not. It's time to make another huge fucking mistake/awesome decision with my life, and in 2016 (when I finally finish this stupid fucking awesome degree) it'll be way overdue.
This entry has been brought to you by too much fucking stress, I hate everything, and 3/4 of a bottle of beer.
So anyway. I loaded up my iPod before work today and listened to music on my ride because a 40 minutes with nothing to listen to but traffic is safer, but fucking boring. This worked out to my advantage, because on my very rainy, very dark ride home, I got to listen to Nine Inch Nails and Portishead and I feel really good about that choice.
I also chose to leave work an hour early because of the aforementioned heartburn, and also all of the clients were gone so it was just a bunch of paperwork bullshit that I am the only one who ever does even though I only work two days a week and I'm over it. I feel really good about that choice, too.
Unrelated, but worth mentioning, is that I'm on the cusp of deciding whether or not I even really like Portland all that much? On one hand, it was supposed to be so great! On the other, it's not really.
I've made a lot of excuses for this city: I'll like it when I'm not recovering from a car accident; but it's so pretty when the sun shines; it'll be better when I make some friends who will leave the house every once in a while; maybe it's just that I live in a shitty neighborhood where there are junkies and old, wet mattresses fucking everywhere and half the streets aren't even actually paved; I just need to not work every weekend, and then I can go do fun stuff! I'm kind of starting to think that maybe I just really don't like Portland.
So now I want to move to The South™. Like, NOLA or Athens, The South™. Because why the fuck not. It's time to make another huge fucking mistake/awesome decision with my life, and in 2016 (when I finally finish this stupid fucking awesome degree) it'll be way overdue.
This entry has been brought to you by too much fucking stress, I hate everything, and 3/4 of a bottle of beer.