Winds of Change
22 October 2013 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grrltastic There's something about fall days and darkness and too much to do that makes spending time alone feel really good.
I came home from class tonight to find Trish already in bed, asleep. So I made myself some miso soup and am sitting down to do a little homework and a little slacking off with the cats to keep me company. It's nice to not have to explain or perform or pay attention to much of anything.
A couple of weeks ago I was desperately missing living on my own. There were thoughts of leaving, of moving out. After some careful examination, those feelings seemed more motivated by the sudden increase in my workload with the start of the new semester, and the sudden disappearance of the sun. The onset of the fall/winter blues that are so ubiquitous here make it a lot harder to deal with stress. And I have stress in spades.
After looking at my schedule, I decided that it made more sense to cut back in my assigned duties. I'm in school full time, which works out to 2 10 hour days (including transportation) in class, along with another 15-20 hours of homework. I work part time, 20 hours a week, to pay my living expenses while I'm in school. And I volunteer for In Other Words, a task which should take 10-15 hours a week, but lately has been receiving 2-3.
Of everything I have going on, the bookstore is the least essential. So it has to go. I'm in the process of trying to find new people to fill my old jobs, a task which is much more time consuming than even my regular work was. And it sucks. My first day of volunteering at IOW was November 7, 2011, and it has been very much a part of my Portland identity. I hate letting go of it, and I feel like I'm giving up. But I need the extra time, and I can't give it as much as it needs, and it's best for everyone if we just go our separate ways and maybe later we can give it another try after I've had some time by myself and... and....
Yes. I'm breaking up with the feminist bookstore and I have lots of feelings about it.
I came home from class tonight to find Trish already in bed, asleep. So I made myself some miso soup and am sitting down to do a little homework and a little slacking off with the cats to keep me company. It's nice to not have to explain or perform or pay attention to much of anything.
A couple of weeks ago I was desperately missing living on my own. There were thoughts of leaving, of moving out. After some careful examination, those feelings seemed more motivated by the sudden increase in my workload with the start of the new semester, and the sudden disappearance of the sun. The onset of the fall/winter blues that are so ubiquitous here make it a lot harder to deal with stress. And I have stress in spades.
After looking at my schedule, I decided that it made more sense to cut back in my assigned duties. I'm in school full time, which works out to 2 10 hour days (including transportation) in class, along with another 15-20 hours of homework. I work part time, 20 hours a week, to pay my living expenses while I'm in school. And I volunteer for In Other Words, a task which should take 10-15 hours a week, but lately has been receiving 2-3.
Of everything I have going on, the bookstore is the least essential. So it has to go. I'm in the process of trying to find new people to fill my old jobs, a task which is much more time consuming than even my regular work was. And it sucks. My first day of volunteering at IOW was November 7, 2011, and it has been very much a part of my Portland identity. I hate letting go of it, and I feel like I'm giving up. But I need the extra time, and I can't give it as much as it needs, and it's best for everyone if we just go our separate ways and maybe later we can give it another try after I've had some time by myself and... and....
Yes. I'm breaking up with the feminist bookstore and I have lots of feelings about it.
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