Cats, man.

 One of the cats, Sophie, is a walking collection of medical conditions. This has manifested in what's essentially a hunger strike, and she's almost literally starving herself to death in a free-feeding household. 

Good job, animal. 

The solution to this has been to feed her canned food, separately from the rest of the cats. However, she really only eats under supervision, so someone needs to sit with her while she licks at food for 45 seconds, wanders away, comes back, licks at food for 45 seconds, etc. Until she's managed to eat most of a half a can of catfood. 

This message brought to you by the reason why I'll be late to work today. :|