The tribulations of the mostly gay.

[grrltastic]

 Since I've been in a relationship with Trish for most of my time in Oregon, folks here tend to classify me as "lesbian". This is fine for the most part - it doesn't really affect anything. Every once in a while, though, I'll be involved in a discussion about dating or men or whatever, and have my opinion dismissed with "What would you know/care about this? You're gay." 

Which is aggravating, but I never really know how to react? Mostly I just raise a skeptical eyebrow and let the conversation continue. But, y'all, I KNOW what an attractive man is because I have slept with A LOT OF THEM. I was married to a dude! I understand relationships with men! Just because I prefer to be with women, and am currently with a woman doesn't completely erase the fact that I was WITH MEN IN THE PAST.

People, ugh.

But I don't really care to get involved in discussions about my very personal grey areas in public, so I guess the eyebrow of skepticism will prevail.

Comments

[waketosleep]

Roomie also has problems with people not understanding what 'bisexual' means. Funny how it still happens even in a place where people are so purportedly sexually liberal.

[grrltastic]

It's weird! In my experience, Portland has a better-than-average track record of accepting on-the-spectrum sexualities, mostly in that lesbians are willing to date women who are up front about their history with men.

I also suspect that this is contributed to by the fact that about half of the lesbian population of this particular friend group is bordering on gold star, REALLY REALLY REALLY GAY women who freak out at the mention of male genitalia? It's a weird scene.

[waketosleep]

That's baffling. I'm quite straight but talking about ladybits in a sexual context doesn't bother me at all. Maybe they're just uptight.