Day Five

[grrltastic]

This is mostly a reply to a comment from pinesandmaples re:St. John's Wort, plus some elaboration.

I feel like "seems to help" is the best I can possibly hope for in my adventures with self-medicating. Typically my depression manifests as fuzzy background noise that just drones on mostly unnoticed until all of a sudden I find myself wondering if it's even really worth continuing to live if I feel so cruddy all the time. Usually my internal answer is "Meh, whatever. It'll probably get better eventually," but I'd really like to just circumvent the whole thing by not feeling so worn down in the first place.

So even if it just makes things slightly more bearable, or makes me feel like I've got a handle on it, I think it'll be a success.

I will say that I've seen a really remarkable improvement in my sleeping habits since I started the... medication? ...supplement? Whatever. I started taking it on the evening of the 5th, and even that very first night I woke up without an alarm after 7-8 hours of sleep feeling rested and ready to engage with my day. This is a really marked improvement over my usual "sleep 10-14 hours and then be a groggy piece of shit forever" routine. It feels really good to have so much more daylight to work with, but not in a manic "I've slept 3 hours over the past 6 days!" kind of way.

Even if this is the only noticeable difference the St. John's Wort makes, it's totally worth it.

Comments

[waketosleep]

Sleeping better can do a whole lot of good all by itself. Glad you've got that working for you.